i sit n wheelchair
strapped in tite tho i feel no pressure
i numb below neck
feel like hollowed out farm punkin
plumped up tite full wit
gritty beach sand & red raspberry jello
my head falls over sometimes
so it gets bolted in place
my tongue moves as bacon smokes hot in pan
i dream of my momma
when i was small boy
we pick berries
all kinds of berries all colors
strawberries
raspberries
blueberries
huckleberries
blackberries
marionberries
even thimbleberries
i help her cook berries down
help her put in too much sugar
help her make the berry jam
but now I dream of red raspberry jello
smooth
sweet
tart
wiggly 
slips & rolls as big wave in ocean
slop my mouth full of the sea
knock me down underwater 
grind my little boy body
upon broken seashells & gritty beach sand
my dada pulled me out of water
he laughed as if no serious matter
tho i see the love in his eyes i see his fear 
i smell the relief of my father’s release
i remember when he hold my hand 
in the muddy pumpkin field as he
smoked a cigarette with other hand
his cigarette lighting hand

we wore boots
yes i walk then
i walked with my dada
together we find a punkin
just me my dada & I
i chose it
i chose a large punkin
too heavy for me 
so dada hoisted it n to
old blue wheelbarrow
we pushed punkin in wheelbarrow all the way to trunk of car
after we handed happy lady in big hat
twenty dolla & told her keep th change ok?
she did & say thank you to me & my dada
me & dada carved hideous evil punkinface
that me now feeling the punkin way
now both momma & dada dead
so i watch trees turn red orange yellow
i watch leaves curl & drop brown from trees
cuz now i feel like halloween punkin
i feel wicked inside like devil moved
inside me without answering me

yum i is Halloween punkin man
with long bacon moving tongue
who wants to eat red raspberry jello
but hey u know what i rilly wan’ now?
guess what u think i rilly really wan’ now?
pussy
human woman pussy, too no want cats
i want to taste, smell, & eat me some pussy
see i ain’t never had none
cuz this happened too early 4 me
i seed movies
i just wanna taste, smell, lick, & kiss beautiful pussy
woman pussy, too
no goat or sheep pussy no chimpanzee pussy no no no
jus grown ass grown up human pussy

i dream all day of same thing
eating pussy
but i canna talk about it
cuz I can still taste u

now u can try suck my cock
so shriveled & tethered to tubes
with my foreskin peeled back like banana rind
doctor said to prevent infection & i would not feel a thing
they all say that do they not?
but u can suck me all u wanna
i just no feel it 
i have no feeling there
not any thing
so you could chew it off like woman rat
and i feel it not at all
but please don’t do that oh no no don’t do that
gosh there’s never anyone to talk to bout this
cuz i hide all behind professional smiles 
when i lonely in my pain
oh i dream of pussy
would you put out my eyes please
so i do not have to see what i miss?
please ream out my nose with pick
shave tastebuds off tongue 
stick coat hanger wire into my head
shove hard thru ear drums

please inject me with poison
stop my heart cold
let my brain die
but first before my whole body die
i wanna warm crazy lover to help me
to stand up onto me
atop braked brace wheelchair
all bold and impossible but unstoppable
and place her pussy gently upon my face
and massage me away from this here life
sorry to be so nasty
just showing the world my primal yearnings
behind the howdy hellos & sad-happy smiles

locked in wheelchair i sit
feelin only heavy wet sand
fading n2 ghosts down belo
where my dear friend
worked hard down on me
o she sucked my cock 4 long time
she not my lover just my friend
who agreed to work wit me
cuz i wonder see i wonder 
about them ghost limbs
ghost arms legs toes fingers nose
would i feel her succulent lips
vacuuming my shrunken cock
once the size of full summer zucchini squash
would i feel her rasp of tongue
cuz my sweet friend she done got
tongue size of a cow’s
would i feel her gentle dance of teeth
afraid she may take my atrophied organ
right off as if rammed by a rhino from behind
so i sat there just a stack of sand bags strapped in
i received orifice of goddess oracle of divine she
hot breathed upon my tiny nub of penis
no go i felt not even the joy of death
not even the passion of a ghost
my cock nuh dick shy but hey, my eyes sure cry
i cried witou’ muh soun…
she stopped her jaws hurt she said
then she rose up so i could smell the flower of her pussy
slightly swollen & as sweet as
musk on a hot summer night
she offered it all for me
& all at my request she did
my tongue laid there awry my jaw
my tongue tried to move 
felt too much as a thick slab of bacon hot in the pan
she was fine & slid back down & put on her clothes
she took my chair as i wept too hard to toggle
and pushed my strapped in bags of sand up
to the window so i could smell the salt of the sea
and hear the soft luff of waves
she sat there quietly my friend who
is braver & more loyal than she says she is

i wiggled my ear to her 
she bent down as she understood the signs
slowly i moved my tongue across my teeth
moved my cheeks checked my breath curled my open mouth just so 
thank u i whispered tho it arose more as gutted air
thank u
thank u
she nodded and stood beside me quietly
as we watched the sun slide down behind the sky
as the stars came out 
she turned about
squatted down like back when she would milk a cow
locked her eyes upon mine
and between our gaze
arose a love so deep & unattached
she smiled & nodded
thank u she said 

William Dudley Bass
Wednesday 4 September 2013
Sunday 30 July 2023
Shoreline/Seattle, WA
Cascadia
Earth

Copyright © 2023 by William Dudley Bass. All Rights Reserved by the Author & his Descendants until we Humans establish Wise Stewardship over and for our Earth and Solarian Commons. Thank you.