The Author & his kids & the family dog at one of the overlooks along the Twin Falls Trail in Olallie State Park. L2R: Talia (in pink jacket), Katie (just behind her), me, William (in back), Morgan (who now goes by Dylan), & Jo, short for Joline, our English Springer Spaniel. Foto by Kristina. Sunday 13 February 2005.

We were a blended family, a goofy family, & we loved to get silly. We faced many challenges of blending post-double divorce family born of a wild and yet strategic mix of polyamory, intentional community, and devotion to conscious parenting. Kristina & I sought to ground our blended family outdoors in nature and indoors with fellow communitarians. For us, deep relationship was a spiritual practice, a challenging practice, and one demanding constant practice with ever-evolving self-awareness. In the moment, however, hugs & fun & even an, “Uh, Dad, what is going on?” is everything. And now, with the passage of time, forever gone.

An entrance guarded by rules. But, hey, don’t shoot!

Jo Dog before she leaps out of the back of our family minivan. She was a sweet, well-trained, & beautiful dog. Kristina trained her before Talia was even born. English Springer Spaniels are known for their gentle nature and thus among the best dogs to have with little children. She joined us on many a walk and many a hike. Ultimately, however, Joline died of cancer surrounded by her human family 7 years later in the Summer of 2012.

Pausing while hiking thru the forest as we approach part of the Twin Falls, a trio of double falls close to one another in the narrow gorge of the South Fork Snoqualmie River.

Goofin’ in the woods while Jo chases squirrels. L2R: Kate & Talia in the top row, Kristina in the center, & Morgan/Dylan up front. Along the Twin Falls Trail.

Faces are always changing, thoughts bubble up & float away, & emotions kinked into trying to smile for the camera while squatting inside a magnificent but old & buggy tree hollow flit across bodies & faces gone with the zip of photons captured trying to outrace time.

Are we done now, DaDa? Or can we make another mess?

Hat haired Daddy-O! Yup, that’s me buried in my own feelings while loving the crashing roar of whitewater. I love all these people! So much! And…what am I doing? Really, now? What did I get myself into? Every moment is an experience in living these lives we choose to live before we die. We learn what we learn, or not. Yup, life is quite a mess, and I love being so alive! Woo HOO hooty HOO! Uh…nope…I’m not sucking in my belly or shaking out my chins. Just hat hair.

My goodness, look at those serious eyes! And, geeez, are we gonna smile or what? But my hat’s back on. L2R: Kato the Kitty Kat, me, Kristinabina Mommastina, & li’l Tater Tot! Foto by none other than Morgan Hannah my li’l Twinkle Star whose first words were, “Book!” and “Kitty Kat!” She changed her name to Dylan Blair in 2018.

My goodness, none of us can smile at the same time, can we? Uh, hmn, looks like I’m the only one looking so darn serious! Foto by the Eldest of Three.

Ours was a complex and somewhat tragicomic partnership. We were lovers and coparents for about 11 and a half rollercoaster years. We started out in a polyamorous cluster and moved into deep monogamy, each phase rich with multiple blessings and difficult challenges. I loved Kristina deeply back then as I also loved Gwen. Still do. And they others. Gwen made Kristina’s hat, too. Ahhh, well, everything changes even if some things remain the same. What, tho, of our lives in parallel universes and dimensions?

Love & Romance in the Woods by the Falls. Kissing Kristina ignited two kundalini snakes down in my root & sacral chakras. They would spiral quickly up my spine. Sometimes I succeeded in channeling the energy. At other times the energy felt as uncontrollable as a flood of whitewater. She taught me many things, this woman who shared so much with me did…about herself, about life energies, about pain, about ecstasy, & ultimately about my own self in the service of life. The Divine knows of such intimate play in the shadows between Sacred Darkness and the Burning Light. I felt intoxicated being with her. Meanwhile, I am carrying nearly everything for our family of 5 here plus for our dog. My huge, red, load monster of a backpack up there is full of family history, children. It’s a Dana Design Astralplane, my nearly 115-liter mountaineering & expedition pack designed & made by a small but excellent company in Bozeman, Montana. Purchased in 1990 at Nantahala Outdoor Center, North Carolina, on the edge of the Great Smoky Mountains, with the help of the famous Wayne-Bob. Backpacked in Big Bend National Park with Gwen in October of the same year. She had her new, big, blue, Dana Design Terraplane. Gwen also would fire up wild, rowdy passions in me. The two of us were a rambunctious couple. Here we grunted more from hiking in Big Bend than from you know what. We were grunting up dusty trails into the Chisos Mountains when a pack of tiny-hoofed, peccary javelinas burst out of the brush and rushed down the trail. They charged directly at us. Shit! We quickly hopped aside. Would they stampede on top of us? Would they chase us? Instead they veered off back in the thickets and vanished in a whirl of poop & dust. Those wild piggy wiggies were scared up by two yahoo young guys bent beneath hulking external-frame packs strapped down with hatches, clanging pots, swinging bags, & rolled-up blankets. They reminded us of old-timey pedlars. After the javelinas raced back into the desert scrub, these pedlar-hiker yahoos looked askance at us and remarked, “God dayum, y’all look like a buncha pregnant rhinoceroses!” The dude actually said, “rhinoceroses!” Whoa! Pissed us off at first, but Gwen & I later laughed about those crazy moments and realized we had been gifted with our trail name for the Appalachian Trail. We thruhiked the AT in 1991 as, yup, the, “Pregnant Rhinos.” So, thank you, you two Big Bend goof buckets whoever you are. Later we climbed many mountain peaks together with the Seattle Mountaineers humping our giant backpacks. I marched in the 1999 Battle of Seattle with my big, red Dana after Baby Kate dumped a bowl of chocolate birthday pudding atop her own head, and…well, it was messed up in the 2010 Fire. Salvaged it, cleaned it, and used it one last time for a week in the Olympics with Morgan in 2014. Then retired it. Pack’s way too heavy anyway, and it served me & all of my Loved Ones well. Loved kissing my Beloveds, too. Then again, should I have not published this picture more than 14 years ago of my then-lover & I embraced in the beginnings of a kiss? Well, why not? Life is too short to be hung up on displays of intimacy & affection between lovers who later broke up & agreed to divorce. We shared something special back then, & we shared some of it with the world. No, I did not seek permission. This foto is not at all porn, i.e. objectification & exploitation, nor is posting my foto of a kiss, an image I own, disrespectful or unethical. Others may disagree. Fine, I agree to disagree. You? Ahhh, love is sweet & powerful, certainly transformational, & not necessarily permanent. Nothing lasts forever as far as we are able to measure. So, love full out if you dare! Life’s a grand ol’ mess, so dive on in & enjoy the process! There’s lust. There’s sorrow. There’s joy. There’s gratitude. Many thanks to Dylan, called Morgan back then in 2005, for capturing this moment in the fabric of spacetime! Woo Hoo hooty HOO!!!