A shorty short story

Sam fell off the pier into the swampy lake, and an alligator bit him in the ass. Thank god Sam was wearing baggy britches, so baggy they looked like Granny bloomers had a three-way with a pair of harem pants and old, beat-up jeans. Unfortunately for Sam, however, he was wearing this abominable unorthodoxy mass of pants belted down low, low hanging low. Just a cut above his knees. Alligator got himself a butt burger! Except Sam was blessed with a scrawny li’l ass with buttcheeks poking out like the bent-up lids of old mayonnaise jars. The man did love his notorious, three-way love feasts. Brilliant fellow, indeed, Sam was. Is.

The alligator let go and thrashed about in the water as if trying to rinse its mouth out. Sam quickly stroked thru the grass and lily pads to shore and pulled himself up on the bank. Blood oozed from the gashes across his bony li’l butt. Blood trailed out back out into the lake. Looked more like raw crude oil than bright red blood.  Continue reading →