My Mom & Death

Mom between Dyings; Her Last Christmas, Virginia 2005.

Mom between Dyings; Her Last Christmas, Virginia 2005.

A Letter to the Living…

Brothers,

Recently read Robert Masters’ book Darkness Shining Wild. One of his themes is bringing Death out of the closet. Into our everyday lives. Being present to Death. As some of you “older veterans” may recall I was with my Dad during his dying from cancer. That was a cathartic event that catapulted me into the workshop I jokingly refer to as “Nightmare in the City.”

Now my Mom is going down. After 3 years of battling cancer, almost dying the same year my Dad died, after going into remission and getting better, the tumors have returned and spread with a vengeance. She’s terminal, tho aren’t we all. Supposedly she has less than 5-6 months left. Who knows?

She is in so much pain now. The fury of the pain blinds her at times and robs her of her dignity. We think we’re going to die a certain way, looking good as we go, but often we don’t. My dad’s death taught me we leave this world as messy as we enter it. Covered in blood and shit. I will be at the Men’s Group this Monday, and then fly out to Virginia for a while, and then again this fall.

My Mother’s looming death feels like some kind of initiatory bookend. At times this woman was a horror and yet she gave me everything. Life. Love. I don’t quite know what to do except to go into it. And unlike some terminally ill folks she does not want to die. She wants to hang on to every breath she takes.

From an Email to Passion Warriors WarriorSage Seattle Men’s Group, Wednesday 21 June 2006.

P.S. I am no longer affiliated with this men’s group or with WarriorSage. Both served their purpose during a crucial time in my life. I have since moved on.

 

William Dudley Bass
21 June 2006
13 November 2008
Revised 26 February 2012
Seattle, Washington

NOTE: This was originally published in my earliest blog, Cultivate and Harvest, on Thursday 13 November 2008, at http://cultivateandharvest.blogspot.com/2008/11/my-mom-death.html, and revised and re-published here this February of 2012. Thank you.

 

Copyright © 2006, 2008, 2012, 2016 by William Dudley Bass. All Rights Reserved until we Humans establish Wise Stewardship of and for our Earth and Solarian Commons. Thank you.

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2 thoughts on “My Mom & Death

  1. Pingback: William Dudley Bass | Philosopher & Storyteller | On Living, Dying, Death, Loss, Grief, Ghosts, and Moving On

  2. Pingback: William Dudley Bass | Philosopher & Storyteller | On Living, Dying, Death, Loss, Grief, Ghosts, and Moving On

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